along.for.the.ride

this is basically a diary.

Thu, 30 Aug 2012 12:27:00 -0400

it’s been forevaaa. sorry. i know SO many people care.. not.

today, yes today, i was on www.pinterest.com and i was looking at quotes. all of them were things like “if you don’t like where you are, change it” or “take chances, do whatever you want” and they get you all fired up to change and make a difference, yeah? what they don’t tell you is that when you make those incredibly drastic changes that you think are good because they’re “for you” and you’re “doing you” for a change, you can hurt a lot of people and make decisions for which you weren’t really ready.

this summer, my life changed. again. shocking.

i went to kauai family kamp as a kitchie and i came out as a best friend, a disciple, a Catholic and in general confused. i have this awful habit of letting my environment influence me greatly. that’s not always a bad thing, if you’re around the right people, but what’s right for the right people may not be right for me. i went to kauai with a lot of baggage, baggage that i was asked to discard to fully serve there. that was fine, discarding the baggage while i was at camp, but it was coming home where i felt like i needed all that baggage back.

but, what about what C.S. Lewis said

there are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.

what about that? do i listen to that? or do i listen to the “take risks and chances” and “do what makes you happy” even is the risks and chances involve my past?

or do i just listen to no one. do i just focus on praying and hoping and letting things fall into play. some people would say yes, do that. but either way, there are decisions that i will have to make. and i’m not going to know what’s better. because you can’t see the future.

i’m terrified of the ending of the story, too. or when the story starts to settle down. i have so much planned and i feel like once it’s over, then what? i have places to go and people to leave. what happens when all that is done? settling down doesn’t sound appealing. living by someone’s standards doesn’t seem like something i can do. i want to live by my standards. i don’t want to have to worry about affecting another person. i don’t want that other person affecting me.

proclamations:

stop dreaming about marriage, that’s unhealthy.
stop worrying about the future, it’ll be here in 3 seconds anyway.
stop depending on other people.
go to New York.
go to Paris.
pray with my whole heart.

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Sat, 18 Aug 2012 23:18:11 -0400

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Tue, 17 Apr 2012 18:03:00 -0400

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Tue, 17 Apr 2012 18:01:55 -0400

true. life.

Tue, 17 Apr 2012 18:01:23 -0400

true. life.

Chicago: Day 2

Tue, 06 Mar 2012 01:23:00 -0500

Shedd Aquarium

Today, we hit the aquarium around 11 am. It was great! We cheated and went to the stroller ticket line because it is shorter. First, we saw every stinking fish you could possibly imagine. There were big fish, small fish, red fish and blue fish (ha). There were speckled fish and fish with long whisker-looking things coming off of them. We walked through about 5 rooms of fish tanks. It was so great to see the colors and the habitats. The fish looked so pretty when the light was hitting them right.

We also saw turtles, frogs, seahorses and sea dragons. It was quite a day of marine life. My favorite part of all was the beluga whales, though. They are so unique and weird. They are white with this like weird shaped head. Their bodies are kind of large and lumpy almost. Certainly not attractive, but their faces are the cool part. They look like they are always smiling. They swim so gracefully and then you see that they appear to be smiling and it just makes them so cute!

Water Tower Place

Naturally, Mom and I needed to do more shopping. Today, we got my precious goddaughter Annalise an American Girl doll. After walking through that incredible doll wonderland, we headed to Betsey Johnson. I decided to try on a dress that was WAY too pricey and then, of course, fell in LOVE with it. Dumb idea, right? It was so pretty though!

Basketball, anyone?

After shopping, Mom and I sprinted back to the hotel, changed into casual clothes and headed to the United Center to watch the Bulls beat the Indiana Pacers! Mom and I are both huge NBA fans, so this game was a GREAT end to the day. The game was incredible not to mention we were 5 rows back from the court!!! Holy moly, it was so cool. Those basketball men are a smidge bigger than they look on TV.

After the game, we hopped into a cab after waiting in the freezing cold for a good 15 minutes. Our cab driver was great! He was talking faster than some 16 year old girls can talk. He had a very interesting dialect and rambled on and on about every pro-sports team you could imagine. He sure knew his stuff. He was so fun to chat with. I certainly learned a few things from him. He was really excited to talk about the Cardinals once he learned me and Mom love them. Mr Taxi Driver spoke about Tony LaRussa like he was a hero (which I agree with) and about the World Series. It was so fun. I love experiences like that. He was a great man and certainly entertainment the whole way back to our hotel!

Day 2 was quite a geat day. Chicago is being great to Mom and me.

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Mon, 05 Mar 2012 00:40:00 -0500

Chicago: Day 1

Sun, 04 Mar 2012 20:24:47 -0500

So mom and I set off via airplane for Chicago this morning. We departed the house at 9 am and were on Michigan Avenue by noon.

We shopped and shopped. We hit Gap, Nordstrom, Victoria’s Secret & the Disney Store. I think we both have full spring wardrobes now. It was an exhilarating day of bright new spring colors, price tags, fitting rooms and shoes!

The new spring line at Gap had me craving the warm sun and blooming flowers. The bright colors mixed with neural colors, like pale brown and hot pink, really intrigue me. It’s such an interesting mix of colors. I can’t wait to see how people choose to rock the spring looks in the coming weeks!

At one point, we were leaving the mall and passed a kisok that sold phone cases. I am currently in need of a new case, so I paused to look at some. The salesman pounced before I could get away.

“You have an iPhone?” he asked.

“…….Yes,” I answered hesitantly.

“Oh goooodddd. I have perfect case for you!” he answered. He then proceeded to sell my mother and I new cases. Then, after success with his first sale, he wanted to sell us some really awesome headphones. They happen to be wireless headphone that work up to 60 feet away. Amazing, right? Too bad no one in my family needs headphones, especially that cost $250. In order to properly demonstrate the bluetooth feature, he needed to call his phone so that we could see how it worked. To do this, he grabbed my phone and dialed his number. He called his phone with mine, meaning some strange man now has my cell number. So not okay. Whatever. Hopefully he doesn’t call me or stalk me via phone. Not only does he have my number, but while we were checking out, (mom caved and bought the headphones, but only after he gave them to us half price and didn’t charge us for the cases) he had Mom’s phone behind the counter. I had to ask him before he gave it back. So, in short, the creepy, foreign man now has my cell number and tried to steal my mom’s phone. Welcome to Chicago.

We are ending the day with room service and a movie! It was a great first day. I can’t wait for Shedd’s Aquarium tomorrow.

Quotes:

Driving into the airport, we were waved through security in our car. Mom and I were offended by this because apparently we don’t look smart enough to carry a bomb or other weapons.

“I want to look dangerous!”

“Wait, do I attach the red wire or the blue…”

In the hotel room, we were looking at the room service menu.

“Amish chicken? I feel like we shouldn’t kill the Amish people’s chickens..”

“Really, mom?”

summer2012

Thu, 01 Mar 2012 11:50:04 -0500

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again “you can’t always get what you want” is the theme of my life.

Since I was little, I have been relatively (or not so relatively) spoiled. There were times when I didn’t get exactly what I wanted, but it was very seldom that I was denied something whether it was from a family member or a friend or a job opportunity. I can count on one hand the times I was absolutely denied what I wanted, acceptance to TCU being one of them. I wrote a year ago about being elected as a princess for Kanakuk Kamps and here I am, again, writing about Kanakuk and how it continues to show me that I cannot always be spoiled.

I applied for a summer job with Kanakuk because after my first summer in 2006, I knew that i wanted to be a counselor. I saw how happy and fun the counselors were and I was ridiculously jealous that they could spend 6 weeks of their summer at Kanakuk as opposed to the one or two I got to spend - and they got PAID! My heart was set on being a counselor.

After being blessed enough to go to K-Kountry as a princess - a title I still don’t believe I deserved- I knew I wanted to work there. The little kids were amazing and so innocent. I loved the way they loved life and were so carefree. I learned so much this last summer because of a bunch of seven year olds. I learned that you live for the kids when you’re there and I feel like that is how motherhood would go. It was cool to be so loved and appreciated by the little girls. I didn’t have to do a darn thing to earn their trust or friendship - I just had it by being around. THat was cool. I miss that age. Now, in college, you have to convince people why it’s worth being friends..but that’s a different story ;).

Back in November of 2011, I interviewed with Kanakuk to apply for a summer position at one of the kamps. I was desperately hoping and almost expecting K-Kountry. I received a phone call from Branson, Mo. not long ago. WHen I answered I was anxiously anticipating a familiar Kountryside voice, but was met with an unfamiliar K-Kauai voice. At the time, you could say I was devastated. Yes, I received a job offer from Kanakuk, but it wasn’t where I wanted to be.

I have come to realize that, while K-Kountry would have been amazing, the Lord is calling me to serve elsewhere. He needs me to work on my own faith before I help kids develop their faith. I need someone guiding me before I can be a guide. I hope to learn a lot this summer and really humble myself by serving the families at Kauai. It should be a summer to remember with people I will never forget, just like every other summer I’ve spent at Kanakuk.

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Thu, 01 Mar 2012 11:05:30 -0500

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Thu, 01 Mar 2012 11:04:34 -0500

sexier-sweaters: Pixar

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 11:25:00 -0500

sexier-sweaters:

Pixar

sexier-sweaters: Rapunzel.

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 11:24:51 -0500

sexier-sweaters:

Rapunzel.

make me happy

Tue, 17 Jan 2012 17:47:21 -0500

make me happy

love

Tue, 17 Jan 2012 17:46:51 -0500

love

so very true.

Thu, 12 Jan 2012 14:48:35 -0500

so very true.

Photo

Thu, 12 Jan 2012 14:42:01 -0500

nothing else matters when I’m up there

Mon, 09 Jan 2012 10:30:34 -0500

nothing else matters when I’m up there

foot massage with my seester (Taken with instagram)

Fri, 25 Nov 2011 00:08:51 -0500

foot massage with my seester (Taken with instagram)

in love (Taken with instagram)

Fri, 11 Nov 2011 12:24:13 -0500

in love (Taken with instagram)